Where is my inner masculine when I need him?
When I have all these dreams and ambitions
Desires and wishes
When the road’s not easy
Where there are hills and bends
When I need him to support me
With grit and strength
When I need determination
Patience to wait
Where is he, I cry; I need him now.

But his reply is faint
Sometimes here, sometimes not
Not yet stable it seems
He waivers and stops
In my dreams though I meet him
There again, he’s vague
Sometimes tall and solid
Attractive and strong
Yet more often than not
He’s bent and lame
Disabled and frail
And sometimes even dead
Then again, I think not…

So wounded is my man
He can’t yet provide
A solid base for my dreams
Even though, God knows, he tries
As hard as he can to keep up with my goals
I rush on ahead
But he limps and is slow.

And I marvel at how
The paradox is this:
My other male-side is strong and fit
My logic and reason, my unfeeling-self
Is rigid and sure
Too developed it seems
As he runs from my feelings
And pushes aside
My soft feminine-self
With derision and pride.

And so it is that I try
To knit together these three parts
To join them again
After all we have just the one heart
To love each of us as we recover
The harmed and the wounded
So we can move just as one
And help one another.

© Angela Dunning, 8 July 2015

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