Once more back in
Inside the recesses of my mind
The deepest corners of my heart
Where something lingers
Something dark
Not yet seen
Not yet felt
While tears start to fall
And lethargy wins out.

Inside, can’t go out
Spring has sprung
But it’s not without
Its further rounds of pain
More delving to be done
More healing to take place
Not yet is my work done
Not yet can I be out
In the world or even my bed.

Pain seeping down
From my neck down my back
Stopping me with a grimace
And an ache and a check
Heart trembling waking
Anxious but what about?
Something’s got to change
Something’s got to give out.

Painfully peeling off the skin
Old and shriveled dry
Sliding onto the floor
Wondering why
Yet more work is needed
Yet more time to die
To this old life of not needing.

Still more yet to cry
As I surrender to the feeling
And I pray for the way
To be shown as I try
To sit inside this intense
And unknown confused feeling
Of this pain
What’s the meaning?
I ask and pray.

Angela Dunning, 4 May 2015

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