Finding My Balance

While my soul wants to soar high in the sky
following the Buzzard’s trail
And she is even content to go down into the dark, wet earth
of the underworld,
where blindly all I can do is fumble and I feel my way through,
My ego prefers to stay somewhere in between.
Terrified of both of these soul-full places
She much prefers to stay where she can see, with her feet on the ground and with as much control as she can muster
These two different selves constantly pull at me,
tugging my heart and therefore my life in vastly different directions each day.
But at least now I can see this more clearly
The tension is visible at last
And so now I can be more of an observer
Careful to walk like a tightrope walker might
One step placed steadily in front of the next
Holding the tension as I aim for balance
Not letting one side pull me too much in either direction
But rather allowing each part of me;
as each part surely has a right to its preferences?
To guide me towards that which is right in each moment
Not staying too long in one to the neglect of the other
But rather finding the right relationship so that we,
all three of us
can begin to live in more harmony and with less discontent
And with more knowledge that, surely together,
we are much stronger that split wide apart.

Angela Dunning, Returning Home the Soul

Art work by Francisco Goya